II: To Pose or To Pimp?

I'm not sure if anyone else has caught on to this yet so I'll say I discovered it, invented it's own school of thought to keep up with it, and it is now my property.

My enigmatic "this" is that my generation is the smartest, best equipped for their time to serve, and laziest of any generation in the history of mankind and the school of though it has provoked is as follows. As I said before, we have to remember that having time to think and lay around stroking oneself is relatively new. It can only be done between the hours of not needing to look for food and sleeping on a giant bag of simulated feathers. Remember also that this country is buried in the post-WWII state of mind and action, both culturally and economically.

That being remembered, the beat generation was the first generation to come of age in universities, with marijuana, and without a major depression or war going on. Their perversity and drug lust trickled down into hippies, coke heads, disco freaks, punkers, new wavers with rolled up sleeves on their blazers, grungers, and eventually posers. (For you beat generationers out there: POSER: ('pO-z&r) N slang One who pretends to be part of a certain social clique or following but really only has a shallow perception of what it really means to be a member.) And I do believe my generation to be the Poser Generation.

First, let's look at MySpace. Not only do you now have to be rather literate to be social with the invention of chatrooms, instant messaging, text messaging, and now MySpace, but LOOK at these fucking profiles man! Their chock full of HTML codes, pictures edited in pirated versions of Photoshop (a five fingered discount of $438-$689), blogs that share nothing in common but a general restlessness and a feeling things are not right, have never been right, and must be right before going forward with anything else. There are kids sitting in offices everyday doing 10,000 times more difficult computer work on their MySpace than they are given by their superiors. Yet, we refuse to be pimpin' (PIMPIN': ('pim-p&n, -pi[n]) ADJ slang (to be) To have the finest of everything, women, cars, clothing, job, bank account, sunglasses, etc... An attitude of utter confidence, physical intimidation, and 24-7 financial forethought (also known as hustling) are also necessary to be considered "pimpin'")

Our MySpace's are pimpin'. Working 9-5 in a cubicle is not pimpin'. Having to pay $60,000 and throw away 4 of the best years of your life you'll never get back to get a piece of paper that says you're capable of learning all you'll ever need for your job in the 14 day training session you'll have anyway is NOT pimpin'. Working for minimum wage anyway after all that work because fucking everyone has a college degree in nothing that they didn't want too is definitely not pimpin'. Neither are paying student loans for ten years, leasing a car you don't even need, or putting enough gel in your hair to kill a moose. Meth, cocaine, heroin, ecstacy, oxycontin, percocet, valium, xanax, aderol, conserta, morphine, viagra, rogaine, prozac, lithium, lexapro, and all the other garbage they WANT you to eat so you're sedated aren't pimpin' either. And pressuring girls into having sex with liquor and pills, beating the shit out of each other for no reason, spending $200 on a pair of jeans, watching youtube videos of people fighting, and many other things my generation has come to embody and LOVE with all their shattered hearts are all not pimpin'. Eating fruit full of radiation and pesticides that has to be delivered by a truck that runs on gasoline when there's an orchard in the area is so not pimpin' it makes me sick.

We could be the Pimp Generation. A big fuck you to the Greatest Generation who won the war and then thought that was all they had to do because it was so fucking great. Then they handed the country with a blind eye back to Washington because Ike and FDR were such swell Nazi killing guys during the war. Fuck you, we're pimpin'! An anal rapage, if you will, of the Baby Boomer Generation, who had half a chance and then ran scared after Kent State like crying babies into minivans, cocaine, ponytails, BMW's, organic juice factories, and general pussy shit homogenization. The Pimp Generation! The ultimate title and won fair and square.

If you can steal a $700 program you are pimpin'. If you don't pay for TV or movies or even music anymore because it's "free" on the internet you are a pimp. If you can get 10,000 YouTube hits for a video you and your friend made you are pimpin'. The pimp is there. The music industry, film industry, and TV/News industry are all digital now. Music is edited on computers. People create whole songs with a mouse and a monitor. Film is edited on computers. They don't even manufacture analog tape anymore and I bet you'll be able to say the same thing about 35mm film sometime soon. Look at cameras. Rich people are old and they do not know how to use a computer. They don't even know what MySpace and YouTube are, they have no idea how to market to us. There are high paying jobs with freedom of schedule waiting for you if you just get of your fucking lazy ass and FUCKING DO IT.

All I am saying is we have more potential to rise above our elders in a shorter amount of time than any generation in the history of humanity. And I'd say about 90% of us are throwing it away. Young millionaires means young politics which means reform. No more wasting time talking about gay marriage on the floor of Congress. If a man wants to suck only one penis for the rest of his life, he is going to do so whether he has a title or not. It officially becomes a non-issue because the interests of big business and their health insurance policies have NO FUCKING business governing the politics of the United States. Young ideas, young money, young politicians....



Don't pose, pimp.